Piano Class Progress and Ear Training

I haven't been posting about the piano class much because...well it just isn't very impressive. But I think it is good for beginners (though possibly moves too fast for a TRUE beginner with no music background).

I get panic attacks about finding notes on the keyboard and about reading the notes on the staff (getting my brain to read both treble and bass clef at same time and not mix them up)...and yesterday the instructor asked us to play 2nd or 3rd intervals and say by ear which was which. When I was playing them and could look at the keys while I listened this seemed easy. They sounded different. But as soon as someone else played them and I couldn't look at the keys I was afloat. Like no idea.

This, of course, is not shocking because I have had a hard time with vocal harmonies in the past. I can't hear them and I can't sing them (unless someone shows me what to sing, I practice it, and then I ignore the other person singing).  I've also never been great at tuning by ear. Only recently have I begun to hear the "warble" of an out-of-tune note...but I still can't tell if the note is sharp or flat.  I even struggle, if you play two notes, to tell you which one is the higher note and which one is the lower note...I have to play them several times and think about it pretty hard.

I'm sure this is a skill that can be learned, but that some people take to it more naturally than others. I'd be on the end of the spectrum that really struggles and would need to work REALLY hard at it and still might never be great at it. I haven't ever really worked at it...and I don't know if I have the patience and interest to work at it.

It frustrates me that people seem to think this is a natural skill and are confused when you can't do it though. It's like they think I'm lying or just not trying hard enough. It pisses me off and makes me feel really insecure.

Everyone isn't good at everything.

I was noticing in class that I'm way better at playing than many of the others. I keep the tempo and play accurately. I can play faster than many.  I also was noticing that while I was bored and noodling around because I couldn't get the interval ear training thing...that I would accidentally happen upon melodies that I recognized and could pick them out by ear. It happened like 10 times.

So it isn't that I'm tone deaf...because I can pick out melodies from memory by ear. I can match pitches by trial and error. And to some extent I know when notes are close to each other or far apart. I just can't tell the intervals. I might know that note one is low and note two needs to be a lot higher...but even though I can hear the melody in my head...I'll have to make a guess to match the second pitch. If I guess wrong I'll quickly guess again until I get it.

Learning the keyboard is definitely helpful for learning the relative position of notes. It took me forever to start to learn that on bass/guitar. On the keyboard it is right there in black and white. It's interesting.

I think the class will be useful, but not earth shattering. I don't think I care about being able to play piano...but it does present one with useful basic skill sets.