Fundamentals Week Six

This week is samba...which it turns out bossa nova is a variety of even though we treated it separately. It'll be another rough week...though maybe not as bad as I thought. For some reason the variations in the lesson seem more intuitive to me than I'd expected. We'll see.

While I think this course was valuable, I don't think that I'm putting enough time into it to get as much out of it as I might. And I feel myself starting to hate it a little bit and hoping for the day when it will be over. So it was an interesting experiment, but I think it is just too hard on me emotionally.

I'm not sure how I get into a daily practice that is sustainable. It is very much like exercise of any kind...you know it is good for you but you have a hard time motivating to do it. And the less you do it the less able you feel to do it...and so on.

I want to advance my skills and to be respected. But at the end of the day...it really just needs to be fun...right? I mean no one gives a shit that I'm doing this...it's supposed to be for fun. What a wonderful thing it would be to actually have fun with no judgements on if I was good enough or not? Pixies gets close to that (minus vocals anyway) and this is why I love it so...but it is also why I discount it as "too easy".

I'm pretty much inconsolable and the architect of my own misery.