You Just Try

Some mildly annoying questions and comments on Saturday night. People were just being nice, but sometimes stuff just gets to me. Okay...stuff ALWAYS gets to me.

The annoying question was a very earnest "why did I choose drums?" The question itself isn't as annoying as the way it was asked. It reminded me of this one time in college when I was interviewing for a job as a resident assistant and someone on the committee, a student, asked me what my passion was. At the time, I did not have a passion. I was just muddling through school and putting anything that might develop into a passion on hold. And essentially this is what I said...that school was my passion at the moment. "No....but REALLY???? What's your PASSION???" An adult on the committee finally had to ask the guy to drop it. And so it was with the question on Saturday...its tone implied that there ought to be some grand reason why I picked the drums. It also implied I'd picked them drums at some distant point in the past. Or even that I'd picked THE drums...like I didn't play anything else.

The truth is, while about a year ago I decided to FOCUS on the drums...and that I feel that this decision is leading to the drums saving my life in some small or not so small way...I don't think I ever "picked" the drums. I was not that kid running around banging on pots and pans or constantly air drumming with pens. The truth is that where music is concerned I've long had attention deficit disorder, and have basically bounced from one instrument to another. Drums just happened to be where I landed four years ago. And I soon figured out that bands need drummers more than guitar players...and that you didn't have to be as good a drummer as a bass player to get gigs.

I didn't tell him any of this because he interupted me with a second question before I could answer the first...which was how did I learn to play the drums. Which is a pretty simple answer. I went to Experience Music Project and played a couple of songs there (and then practiced, took lessons, etc...but the main thing was that day at the museum). He wanted to know which songs I played that day. Like there was some magic in which songs they were. Crap...I don't remember which songs they were.

The upshot of all this is that the guy wants to play drums. To which I say...then play drums. It isn't some kind of magic...there's no trick. There's no key to unlock the mystery. You just play.

Which leads to the second annoying thing of the night...a comment by someone that they wish THEY could play in a band. To this I say the same thing...then play in a band. Quit whining and try. You may suck...or you may not be able to find people to play with. But unless you try you can shut the hell up with your whining about how you wish you could.

It isn't magic...you just try.

These things annoy me, I think, because people act like they are magic and that I'm just lucky. But I've worked my ass off. Don't get me wrong...I haven't worked my ass off as much as I could have or should have...but I have worked. More than anything...I've put myself "out there." I've answered hundreds, literally, of Craig's List ads for bands. I've thrown live music parties. I've really, really, really TRIED to get into bands. And it hasn't all been fun...I've been kicked out of bands, had bands move on without me (without kicking me out), had bands fold, and had my interest in auditioning ignored or ridiculed. I have felt pain...but I tried anyway and kept at it. And in the case of playing the drums...I bought em and I played em. I did all that. So don't whine to me about how "you wish".

The lesson for me is not about trying...it is about practicing. The magic key that I need to unlock the next step for me is as simple as sitting down each day for a couple of hours and practicing. Not just playing...but practicing. This is the painful truth. And if I start whining about how I suck and aren't getting any better...someone should hit me in the face with a big raw "you just have to practice" fish.

Footnote: Auxillary annoyance...don't tell me how you think I look cool and you wish you looked like me. I do NOT look cool. Never have...never will. That's just bullshit ass kissing pure and simple. This is why I don't trust 99% of what people say to me and can't accept a proper compliment.