Lately

Last night CJ practiced for the first time in a while and for the first time in a while when we didn't have a solid goal in mind. We tried playing through lots of songs that we haven't played in months...or even over a year.  I was surprised to find that these had fallen out of my memory banks. They are easy to get back...but for awhile there I thought I'd never forget how to play any of these songs...but I guess there are limits.

On the flipside of memory, I've got all but one ska tune memorized with a week to spare before the show. I'll be bearing down on the last one over the next few days. I suspect I'll get it.  The band, it turns out, needs to discuss goals as they seem to vary amongst us. Seven people are a bunch of people to get on the same page. I'm less worried than I thought I'd be about what will happen. This whole thing turned out to be a terrifying exposure to music that I thought was beyond me...and it turns out that it isn't. Individual songs will continue to be a challenge as we move along...but I've proven to myself that I can handle it. It almost feels like it doesn't matter what else happens now. A strange kind of goal has been reached for me.

CJ also talked hopes and dreams last night...and I've finally decided to push us a bit on accomplishing those things. Inertia is hard. I think the goals are very reasonable and attainable though...just one of us needs to push a bit and I guess I'm accepting that I will have to be the one. I'm ok with this because it is something worth working hard for.

The other three groups I'm just not too worried about. I wish rehearsals all around for all of my bands were more regular...I don't like having down time...but I'm not that concerned about outcomes at the moment oddly enough...other than the previously stated outcomes with CJ.

I do have some personal anxiety that I'm working through lately in life in general and I'm trying to figure out where applying myself more in my music will help and where backing off and relaxing more will help. It is a balancing act for sure.