Who Am I?

In December 2005 I bought a drum kit. It was something I'd thought of doing for a long time, but in the end it was a total impulse purchase. And somehow it led to me really wanting to be a drummer. Somewhere in this monster of a blog I probably could pinpoint kind of when I got serious about that, but I imagine it was in fall of 2008 or so.

On an equal whim, I decided to start playing bass...several times. Once in about 1994...once in about 2003...and again in late 2009/early 2010. In fact, I think I got the idea to start playing bass again in late December 2009...perhaps even 4 years to the day after buying that drum kit.

Since spring 2010 I've been doing a balancing act between drums and bass, but I've still been thinking of myself as a drummer who goofs around with bass. I realized kind of suddenly this weekend that I may now be thinking of myself as a bass player who goofs around with drums. It snuck up on me.

Bass has always been easier for me, perhaps because I have some background in cello and guitar. Drums, on the other hand, have always been hard. It is my tendancy to discount things that come easily to me...but maybe that's the wrong way to think about life.

This spring I took an on-line class in drums. It was supposed to be the beginning of me "getting really serious" (again). Instead it kind of demoralized me. I don't have to look much earlier than that to see a time that I started drum lessons that was supposed to be the beginning of me "getting really serious" (again). Instead THAT kind of demoralized me. In both cases I was working really hard and getting nothing but pain in return. And there are many more examples.

Conversely, in recent months I feel like by just putting a tiny bit of effort into the bass I've made huge improvements. And it is still fun. And I now play bass in 3 bands and drums in 2. That's a new ratio...it was 2 drum bands to 1 bass band for a good long while.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not quitting the drums. I still love playing them. And I do think that I'm getting better at them...slowly but surely. But there's something about the bass that feels like fits. With drums I feel like I'm swimming upstream and against all odds and logic. With bass I feel home.

And I've spent my whole life looking for a musical home.