Fan Boy

It's been a while since I've been totally obsessed with a band. It happened alot in my tween, teen, and young adult life....with mainstream bands mostly. Then I kind of stopped listening to music for a while. And then, I got into local music and obsessed about that for a while.

So I'm 20+ years late to the party, but I'm deep into a Pixies situation at the moment. A short six months ago I knew almost nothing about the band except the names of a few albums and possibly that they did Here Comes Your Man. I can't even remember now if I just knew the song, or if I actually knew that they did it. Now, I own all of their albums and some of the more obscure stuff too, and have the bass parts to almost 30 of their songs memorized...with complete intention of learning most or all of the other 60 or so by the end of the year-ish. I've read/watched about every interview I could find of the band...seen two documentaries...and generally gone total emersion.

This all happened because I wanted to play bass in a band. And at this point it is impossible for me to know if I really love the Pixies music...or if I just love playing in a band that plays the Pixies music. The two are conflated. I love the songs because I've heard them over and over now for 6 months. Chicken and egg are impossible to suss out at this point.

It's ridiculous to ponder the lives of people that you've never met...but I like the Pixies...in particular I like my doppelganger Kim Deal (and her sister Kelley too). I like that they were kind of average musicians who started this band that got really popular. And that the songs kind of don't make sense but are also oddly deep and funny and sick. I like that they have at times looked kinda dumpy on stage...t-shirts covering beer guts. I like that they didn't always put on a consistantly great live show back in the day. I like that Black Francis got in trouble for saying the reunion is really about money and that he doesn't get why people give a shit about a band that hasn't released an album for 20 years. I like that they seem, as a group, disfunctional and unable to communicate. I like that Joey's parts sometimes seem random...and that David makes a living (or tries to) as a magician. I like that Kim Deal (and Kelley) struggled with chemical dependency and fought it and won...but at the same time was kind of an entertaining alcoholic. I like that they live in Dayton, Ohio. I like that Kim and Kelley seem to play whatever instrument is laying around at the time...whether or not they "knew how" the first time.

I'm not the kind of fan that I was in my youth...not nearly as crazy as I was back then. It gives me something to waste time on the internet doing, though. I'm enjoying the Pixies these days...and hoping for a long, long run for Crackity Jones. I've lived enough now to know that these things come and go (playing in bands)...but for now I'm enjoying it and happy to be in this moment. The songs are fun, the company is fun, and in a rare turn of events, the band actually seems to be popular amongst audiences. Ironically we're cashing in just like the band itself is...setting aside our own "creative" projects to play someone else's 20 year old songs. It kind of makes me feel okay about doing it when the band itself is doing the same thing. It's fun and lucrative (not too terribly lucrative for us, though) and totally worth doing. Art be damned.

I'm so, so glad that I asked about playing bass in The Escapists on that January night. It was an idea that popped into my head just at that moment and a more cautious or intelligent person would have let the idea pass unsaid. But instead I asked. And now here I am. And it is a good place to be. Maybe I'm deluded, but it doesn't seem all that different than answering a classified ad for a bass player (when you don't really play bass) who likes Husker Du and Peter Paul and Mary.